AI: What does the A stand for?
by CabooseHelpsU
Summary: Sword Art Online. Created by a mad genius, ran by a powerful yet lazy AI, and trap to 10,000 players. Why did Kayaba do this? How is it so lifelike? Chances are, nobody, not even this group of players, will find out. At least not without help. Action/Adventure, Humor, plenty of bad references and a bit of Romance. Fits (mostly) within established canon. T to be safe.
1. AI: Chapter 1

Files: Classified, Eyes Only

Date: xx/xx/202X

Subject: Debriefing of **Redacted**

Audio Files Only

001: "Are you comfortable, Miss **Redacted**? Is there anything I can get you?

002: "I...I would like some water please, and maybe something to eat. We are going to be here for a while, after all."

001: "Indeed."

DOOR OPENING

001: "Thank you."

MUFFLED FOOTSTEPS, DOOR CLOSING

001: "Here is the water and snacks. No need to worry, we know you are gluten intolerant."

SIPPING NOISES

001: "Now, shall we begin?"

002: "...Okay. Is it on? Good."

CLEARS THROAT

002: "What I'm about to say will be shocking. You probably won't believe me, and even if you did, there's nothing you can do. After all, you can't change the past, however much I wish it were possible. I just hope you can find it in yourself to understand, to look past what has happened. Ah, but I should get straight to the point. My name is...well, you may call me Monika, and I am a survivor of **Redacted** , and SAO .

001: *Ahem* "Miss, perhaps we simply stick to the latter for now."

SILENCE FOR SEVERAL MOMENTS

002: "Very well then. Let's start with what happened in _that_ place. That wondrous World of Swords, where things began. November 6, 2022…"

* * *

 _ **November 23, 2022, 1843 hours**_

"Yunker, to your left! He's going for another charge attack! Once he dodges that, Sazuki will draw aggro and tank, Mochi should be finished healing by now!"

The party had been doing well, all things considered. _By all things, I mean getting trapped in the Matrix's child with Scanners_. Thrusting his short spear at the Dire Wolf, he grinned. He grinned in spite, no, _because_ of the odds they were facing. More specifically, the pack of 5 Dire Wolves surrounding his party. _Well, at least the exp will be good_.

Again the wolf came, prowling forward and leaping back. "Kal, I'm alright now. SWITCH!" shouted Mochi. Leaping back to avoid a sudden swipe of claws, he complied. "Go get em, Mochi-chan!"

 _Switching. An abrupt movement of players, intended to confuse Monster NPCs by changing aggro, thus throwing off response algorithms._

"Jeez Kal, enough with the 'chan' already! Hyaa!" Shouting as her 'Sword Skill' activated, Mochi rolled over the Dire Wolf, dagger nearly too fast to see. A long line of crimson streaked around the wolf's neck, and the Dire Wolf shattered into particles.

Before they could celebrate, the rest of the pack stopped growling. They started backing away, slowly at first, but soon turning to a full on sprint.

"Yeah! Take that, you stupid bots, run away!" Sazuki cheered. Walking up from behind, he arm-locked Yunkers before the older boy could do anything. "See that, Yunkers? They couldn't handle the might of the Great Sazuki! This is why I'm called the legendary…...Yabai!"

Two things happened: Firstly, a shimmering sound and flash of light went off behind him. Secondly, and more importantly, Sazuki had just violated the most crucial rule in a game where RNG is involved; _Never_. Mess with Murphy.

Leaping to the side, the shield wielding tank was just nicked as meter long claws swiped at him.

"Friggin Kayaba, making a game system where they spawn _right behind you!_ Stupid RNG, stupid wolf-" He cut off, quite literally, as the mini boss' raked lethal claws across his arm. The rest of the party had been shocked, but moved into action the moment their tank was hurt.

Yunkers, the closes of the party, hacked into the flank of the Alpha Wolf with his battleaxe, dealing only a small chunk of damage to it's rather menacing triplet set of health bars.

"Sazuki, get back and heal, NOW! Yunkers, let Mochi draw agro, and switch when the time is right." Kal called out. He himself would hang back for a bit, and try to determine the attack patterns of what seemed to be a mini boss.

The beast's fur was an orangish red, with yellow eyes aglow. This, added to the terrifyingly dangerous claws and fangs, certainly made for a decent mini boss. Alpha Wolf was its name, and Kal could only shake his head in appreciation. This might be a Death Game, but there were times he felt as if someone had poured their soul into making it.

The players and the Alpha Wolf continued to fight as the sun went down in the west. Stabbing, jumping back, hacking, switching with another member, and healing. After what felt like hours (but was probably never more than 30 minutes) the players finally reached the red health bar.

Kal, as the party leader, pulled everyone back. When monster bosses reached certain points in battle, their attack patterns changed. Reaching the red bar was the most significant phase, and already many players had perished for not respecting that.

Giving out an ear rending howl, the eyes glowed an intense red that was soon matched by an aura surrounding the wolf. When the flash of light faded, the players' jaws dropped. The fur, once sunset red, was now midnight black, allowing the wolf to blend in with the dusky atmosphere. Above, the words spelled out Midnight Greatwolf.

"It's like Sif took a dip in the Abyss! Not cool, Kayaba!" Sazuki cried out, tears leaking out of his eyes like a stream. ' _That emote system….I could probably live without it,'_ Kal thought, rolling his eyes as Sazuki theatrically fell to his knees. Abruptly, the game's BGM queued a new song that Kal hadn't heard before….yet was familiar. ' _Well, we_ are _only on the first floor,'_ he thought.

"Sazuki, get yourself together and start tanking. Be on guard for special moves and patterns! Everyone else, just test it for now. Only one bar left!" He shouted, giving the encouragement he could.

The party's tank leapt forward, raising his shield to catch the now much faster paw as Yunkers and Mochi sprinted around the flanks. The Midnight Greatwolf started turning towards Mochi, who had just dealt a good portion with her backstab, and thus drew aggro. "Get away from her!" Came a shout from Sazuki as his short sword flicked from behind his shield.

Only after 3 stabs did the monster turn to face the new threat.

' _It is getting smarter, keeping it's aggro on the glass cannons, so to speak'_. If things were going like this, they would have to spread out the damage dealing. But the Greatwolf's actions were _not_ what Kal had expected.

Yet another howl shrieked through the air, more panicked than angry. Eyes flashing red once more, a ball of light appeared in it's open jaws.

"Oh, now it has a _Bijūdama?!_ " yelled Yunkers. Everyone turned to look at him, deadpanned expressions evident on their faces. "What? I can't make nostalgic references too?" The Midnight Greatwolf growled, and the beam of light shot for Mochi, who simply danced around it. Not missing a beat, she turned back to the ax wielder.

"Yunkers, at least Sazuki referenced an actual _game_!"

' _Oof, shots fired from Mochi!_ ' came the mental Commentator in Kal's mind. With an unseen signal throughout the party, they advanced on the boss, which was now on a long cooldown from using a charge skill.

"Oi, Oi, _Naruto_ had tons of games! I made a perfectly viable reference, thank you very much. Right Kal?"

' _Friendly bantering, to distract from danger or negative feelings. I can do that.'_

Raising his spear, he replied. "I don't know, Dark Souls is much more of a game than anything Naruto had. They have you on that."

"Oh, you _had_ to take their side? For another thing, _Please_ don't reference any souls games while we are trapped in a _Death Game!_ "

The boss' health bar was now under 10 percent. ' _One more solid hit should kill it._ _That is….if it doesn't heal. You never know with bosses.'_

He grinned, and raised his spear in a fluid motion. Alongside him, Mochi entered a ready stance. "Let's dance this last dance, eh? I shall do the honors, according to my grand authority as Party Leader!"

Rolling her eyes at his overly theatrical tone, Mochi nodded, and they sprinted forward. Kal, while not a full AGI player like Mochi, had put quite a few points into speed, and was only just behind his partner as they called for a "Switch!"

Eyes flashed, teeth bared, the Midnight Greatwolf growled once more, before the night was punctuated with breaking glass.

.

* * *

.

The sun was long gone as the party trudged through the woods. The adrenaline had long worn off, but their spirits still remained high. ' _Well, as high as they can be in this situation._ '

Nights in SAO were often beautiful things, even in the towns, but out in the fields….it was breathtaking. There were no stars, but on some nights the sky seemingly glowed, occasional pinpoints of fireflies taking the roles as moving constellations. That was not this night, though.

Kal glanced around, using his Detection skills to check for any surprises. Come to think of it….

"Hey, you know how that field boss spawned right on top of us, and we didn't detect it until it was trying to gut us?"

"How could I forget?! I know I'm a tank and all, but that was _way_ too close for comfort," Sazuki complained. Before the other members could begin to tease him for his 'Whining', he continued.

"Well, I'm thinking that it was only possible since the sun was going down." The party remained silent, chewing on those words. It was Yunkers who spoke up.

"I agree; we've already seen that certain monsters are stronger at night, so why not during other times of day as well? The dusk certainly matched it's fur. In addition, we've never heard of anyone coming across a mini boss such as that, so far. I imagine that certain monsters only appear at night, and become stronger because of it."

Mochi nodded. "Sono tori desu, I agree. When it's fur turned midnight black to match the sky, we dealt half as much damage as before. On the other hand, the drops, Exp, and Col were much more than the average field boss!"

In other words, night time made the monsters much more numerous, and at much higher power levels. On the other hand, the risks were matched by the rewards.

If the game had gone as planned, this would certainly have been exploited, but would the average player really put their neck on the line for a bit of extra rewards? ' _If there are, they probably won't be around for long,'_ Kal surmised.

"Now that we know what to look for, we can do it again when the fields are full of players in the daytime. It's a risk, but with limited resources to go around on this floor, we might have to take it."

The group fell silent once more, as to not draw more attention to themselves as they walked on.

It was not 10 minutes later Kal's shoulder was tapped by a gloved fist. Mochi was mouthing the words 'Possible enemy, 6 o'clock.' Kal's fist went up and the party entered a defensive formation.

" _Trace on,"_ Kal muttered under his breath, activating his search skill. He could practically _feel_ Mochi's eyes roll at the reference, but he ignored her. He gazed into the distance, eyes slightly glowing as his vision pierced the gloom of night.

"Looks like a humanoid, walking slowly. Can you confirm?" he whispered to the resident ninja. She nodded in affirmation, replying, "I think it's a player, or NPC, but they're lightly equipped, if at all."

A low level player, in the middle of the monster fields, in the dark of night. Whoever it was, they were a fool, desperate, or both. Either way, he felt the urge to help.

"Mochi and Sazuki, you two keep an eye out for other life forms, Yunkers, follow me at a pace of 10 meters. I don't want to spook them into fighting, or risk drawing aggro from monsters. Got it?"

Three hands signaled the 'okay' sign, and he crept forward. The figure was still shambling forward, like something out of a cheap zombie movie. Stopping about 15 feet away, Kal softly called out. "Hello? Are you a player? I'm here to help." The figure stopped, and not moving anymore than that. His Search skill still active, he could just make out their appearance. Rather, _her_ appearance. She was of average height, with long orange hair reaching down to her waist. "Hello? Who are you?" He called out again, starting to inch his way closer.

Quietly, almost like a whisper on the wind, a sigh escaped her lips. What happened next was something Kal was _not_ prepared for. She looked up, and two pinpoints of _green_ flashed out, before the girl collapsed towards the ground, not unlike a marionette with cut strings.

Behind him, he heard Yunkers curse in German. In a blur, Kal sprinted forward, just catching the falling player. To his right, he saw a flash of white light and the noise of a spawn. ' _Crap, we drew aggro?'_

All pretenses at stealth abandoned, the party wordlessly rushed forward to create a ring around their leader and the mystery player. Over half a dozen Dire Wolves had spawned, barking into the night as they sought to rip their prey.

The moment passed, and the combat began claws clanged against steel in the night.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** This has been bouncing around in my head for a while. This is, obviously, an SAO story, about 17 days into the death game. This is technically a crossover, but I'm probably not gonna set it up as that, initially. I leave it to you to find the connections.

In addition, I will be using a smattering of Japanese to match the story.

Please review the story so far, or PM me. I make it a point to respond to all reviews (well, the ones that go beyond "Good", "Give me more", etc). Be sure to catch any mistakes, eh?


	2. AI: Chapter 2

0321 hours, November 23rd, 2022

1st Floor, Near Horunka Village

There was something to be said about how lifelike Sword Art Online was. Advertised as the first real Virtual Reality game, all five senses of the human mind were appealed to.

Barring specific effects, such as the opening of a menu screen, everything heard was right there. The murmur of a crowd in a marketplace, screams of monsters, the clang of blades or even the snores of a semi Teutonic roommate.

Smell and Taste went hand in hand, as one could walk past a bakery and smell fresh bread, pastries, fruits, and the likes. Although, it was still too early in the game for players to outdo the usually tasteless NPCs...

Perhaps one of the greatest advantages for VR systems was the visual prowess. If a picture had a thousand words, then one second of viewing Virtual Reality was a million pictures. The sunsets alone were absolute pleasures to behold, complete with the effect of bird-like creatures flying off into the 'sun.' Once a gamer tried VR, it was nigh impossible to return to two-dimensional computer monitors, which were quite bland in comparison.

Finally, the sense of touch. It reminded Kal that despite the 1s and 0s, some things never changed. The weight of a reliable weapon in your hands could provide quite the morale boost, and the fresh early morning raid could do wonders for the mind. However, that was (quite literally, here) a double-edged sword in some instances. Namely, the sensation of pain.

The pain system in SAO was an odd one indeed. When you slid across a rough surface on your face, you knew your body was getting beat up, but it wasn't quite the same. It was merely enough to see that you were in trouble.

Speaking from experience, sliding across grass was not fun. More so from the fact that something caused you to do so in the first place….huh.

 _'I must be in mortal peril. What's new?_ '

Ignoring the cacophony in his head, he hauled himself to his feet, checking his surroundings. ' _Other people?'_ Check. ' _Monstrous wolf charging me?'_ Check. ' _Spear in my hand_?'

….' _Not the case, it seems._ '

Instinctively, he rolled to the side. The Dire Wolf howled in frustration, blood red eyes flashing. Really, it didn't need to be so loud…

"Kal, get up. I've got a few potions in my satchel!" called a familiar voice. "Yunkers, cover him, I've got the girl!" The voice belonged to Sazuki, who was currently bashing a dire wolf with his kite shield. "There's only two left-" A sound of broken glass rang through the air. "Scratch that, one left. Yunkers and I have it."

Kal, barely able to understand the sights and noises, slowly stood up.

 _'I need to stop getting concussions, or whatever replaces them in this world; it's not good for my health when death is on the line.'_

Shaking his head, he rolled forward again, just avoiding the set of claws slashing the air where he had been. Dashing to the top of the hill his team was on, he was nearly ready for the purple blur that was Mochi. "I'm fine. I'm fine. I don't remember feeling better!" Kal slurred, taking a goofy grin. ' _Maybe he could get away with some teasing?'_ Mochi proceeded to slap him, confirming his suspicions that women do not, indeed, take almost dying lightly. Really, what's the point of hugging, then hitting, then healing him?

He chugged the potion he had swiped from her bag and searched for his spear. "Has anyone seen..." Kal cut off, just noticing the look on his friends' faces. "Well, that's why I should have gotten a spare. It's my fault, I guess. Speaking of which, what happened?"

"Only someone like you would say that at times like this. Idiot."

Sazuki cut in. "What Mochi is trying to say is this: when wolves surround us, it is not a good idea to solo them while holding a girl. And yes, said girl is right here. She would be okay, if not unconscious. Nice streak in the ground, by the way, I think it's your new record."

Kal ignored the jabbing remark as his gaze settled on the mystery girl that had started the whole mess. Her equipment was a sundress; indeed, not standard beginner clothing of SAO. No weapons or armor, asides from tall leather boots. He didn't think much about that. The real jaw-dropper was, well, her actual looks.

Even in the low level of ambient night lights, she was beautiful. Waist length hair the color of coral brown was tied together with a large white bow, ponytail. Two bangs slightly covered her face, and despite her shut eyes, her face seemed to have a knowing smirk.

Kal didn't know how long he was staring, but a cough forced him to tear his eyes away. Mochi had an unreadable expression on her face as placed a hand on his shoulder. She pointed over the hill, where Kal could see pinpricks of lights.

"Let's go Kal. We aren't in the Safe Zone yet, and I want to sleep in an actual bed this time~." She stretched her arms above her head, groaning. "It's strange, how it's impossible for my body to be sore, and yet it is. I want a warm soak, even if it's virtual."

The others nodded their head in sync, something out of a comedic anime. Off in the distance, several howls were heard, barely louder than the BGM of pianos and harps.

Cresting another of the many hills typical to the Floor, they spotted a handful of boars, some of the weakest monsters in the game. They continued walking, still tense from their 'surprise' encounters. So far, there were no more enemies in their path, but that again raised a question…

It was Sazuki who broke the silence. "Hey, why do you think those monsters spawned when we found this girl?"

"In all likelihood, she is a quest NPC. Think about it; you find the object to start a quest after defeating strong enemies, right? That Midnight Greatwolf was most definitely some mini-boss, spawning to prevent us from reaching this girl. Certainly was difficult, with even more appearing when we found her."

"Normally I would agree, but why are we able to pick her up? If it were anything like beta, the system would warn us of violations. Unless…" Mochi paused, hesitantly.

Yunkers beat Mochi to the punch. "Unless she is a unique quest NPC, giving us the authorization to carry her. That, though, is against even the data from the Beta Test."

"Well, that might be the case, but it's only floor one, barring what we learned from the Beta test. But...this game has, by all accounts, been proven to be fair, be it in drop rates or anti-cheats. Why would we get access to a quest, with a removable NPC?"

"Perhaps she could be a player, but in either case, nothing happens until she wakes up. Besides, Kal, shouldn't complain about picking up girls, NPC or player!" Sazuki and Kal bumped fists, eyes glinting madly, only for Mochi to double slap the duo.

"That's twice I've had to finish your Manzai Acts, idiots! There can't be two Boke's when there's only one Tsukkomi. Hmph!"

"Oi Oi, can't you just relax a bit? We're only having fun! What's the harm in picking up random girls you find in the middle of nowhere?" This brought about a round of sweat drops as they collectively realized _just_ how bad that sounded.

Yunkers could only shake his head, marveling at the emote system; glinting eyes, steam from the ears, random bouts of Tsundere-ism, and even the sweat drops, like this was some cheap anime. He just hoped that his glasses didn't glint when he pushed on them. ' _A perverted Tank player, and a little Ninja/knife-wielder who beats the crap out of him. That seems familiar…_ "

"Pervert!" A dull thud resounded through the air, Yunkers, and Kal not entirely tracking Mochi as she put a knee to Sazuki's face.

Yunkers caught Kal's eyes, and stage whispered. "I think this is becoming much too familiar for comfort; it would be bad if God plagiarized characters."

"Yeah, that would be bad…" Raising his voice, Kal faux exclaimed. "Oh look at the time, it's almost time to wake up. What do you all say about sprinting to town? Last one there treats Mochi to whatever dessert she wants!"

An icy chill swept over the boys as Mochi drooled. "I….I think it's best we hurry then if I had a wallet it would be trying to strangle me."

"But...what about the girl we found? Who's strong enough to run with her?" Yunker's voice, usually calm and collected, was disobeying it's master's will and rose an octave high enough to make Mozart proud. By now, a demon-like specter was rising from behind Mochi, and malicious chanting could be heard in the background.

 _ **"O, Fortuna!"**_

 _ **"Velut Luna!"**_

 _ **"Statu Variabilis..."**_

Mochi grinned. Sazuki whimpered. The wind blew as tumbleweeds rolled. Somewhere, a wolf howled. Then... Mochi was gone in an instant, with Sazuki not far behind her.

"Wow, I have never seen him, or any other tank, move that fast."

"A~yup."

"Hey Kal, I've always looked up to you, 'my man.'" The words came out awkwardly, Yunker's face twitching as he spoke. "Not only are you skilled, but you are also a gentleman. And NO, I don't swing that way…" He coughed at that last part.

"Yunkers...thanks. That means a lot to me, man." Kal was tearing up at this point. Yunkers, the ever stoic half-blood Austrian, was finally showing human emotions. In all the six months that they had known each other, this was the most emotion he had gotten from him!

"O-of course, mein d...my Dude." He coughed to clear his throat. "What I'm trying to say, you being the hero of this story, is this: CATCH!"

Before he could do anything, the mystery girl collided with poor Kal, knocking him to the ground once again. Yunkers was already gone, giving a Teutonic laugh, "Höhöhö!"

The dust cleared, revealing a deep gash in the dirt, with Kal at the end. Scowling, he glared daggers at his running teammate. "Oh, that's how it is, huh?"

Dusting himself off, he took the time to study the girl in his arms. She was pretty light, with an average frame. Her face had a gentleness to it, almost like an older sister. That was nothing to speak of her...curves.

He grinned. "Me and you, alone in the middle of nowhere for who knows how long. Sign me up!" With that, he trudged down the hill in the direction of the nearest village. Not, of course, that his resident Princess Peach could answer him.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 **Author's Note:** *Glances at the date* Please don't kill me.

I've been wanting to get this out for a looong time, but College/Army/Misery decided to have a tea party with me. I'm finally feeling relaxed enough to enjoy writing, so...knock on wood.

You know, this story started out as A) my broken heart upon finishing a certain game called *redacted*, and Two) my response to reading a bunch of wonderful fanfics, most of which are SAO. Shoutout to SaintInfernalNeos for his inspirational story, SAO: The Eroge. That is a blast to read. In addition, "Apparently Video games are bad for your health" gave me ideas about to how to handle just what exactly Kayaba was thinking with SAO, and I like their interpretation that it's all a test to give AIs sentient consciousness. This is by Nemesis 13.

Well, this chapter was short, but I needed to get it out there. See you next time!


End file.
